💋 200+ Sexist Jokes That’ll Have You Laughing on Both Sides of the Gender Gap 2025! đŸ˜‚đŸ”„

By shebi

Ever found yourself in the middle of a party, desperately looking for a zinger to lighten the mood? Or maybe you’re just scrolling through Instagram, hunting for that perfect caption that’s cheeky but not creepy.

Look no further. These 200+ sexist jokes aren’t here to offend — they’re here to tickle your funny bone, poke fun at stereotypes, and remind us not to take life too seriously.

We’ve cooked up a gender-bending buffet of wordplay that’s lighthearted, sassy, and safe for both sides of the aisle.

Whether you’re a feminist with a sense of humor or someone who appreciates a well-placed pun, these zingers are perfect for captions, convos, or travel tales that need a cheeky twist.

So buckle up, buttercup. These aren’t your grandma’s jokes — unless your grandma’s hilarious, in which case… never mind.


đŸ€“ Did You Know?

The word “hysteria” comes from the Greek word hystera, meaning uterus. That’s right — in ancient times, people believed only women could go “crazy.” Which explains a lot about ancient medicine and why we’re joking about stereotypes instead of prescribing leeches.


Funny Sexist Puns Captions

Funny Sexist Puns
  • I told him to man up, so he bought a ladder
  • She said she needed space, so I gave her the whole kitchen
  • His ego’s so big, it pays rent in his mirror
  • I wear the pants — he just irons them
  • He’s not wrong, he’s just… male
  • She drives me crazy — and also parallel parks for me
  • Real men don’t cry — they just sulk louder
  • Women multitask so well, we even listen while plotting
  • He said he’d fix it — six months ago
  • She’s not bossy, she’s just mom-level efficient
  • He thinks a throw pillow is a battle
  • Women: solving problems men didn’t know they had
  • Men think GPS is optional — so is arriving
  • I asked him to load the dishwasher, and he Googled “how”
  • Her purse is a black hole — it holds snacks and grudges
  • He said emotions are “extra” — like guac
  • I cook, clean, raise kids — he mows the lawn… once

Funny Sexist Puns One Liners

  • Men marry women hoping they won’t change. Women marry men hoping they will
  • Behind every successful man is a woman… rolling her eyes
  • He said he’s a “nice guy” — major red flag
  • She’s late once, and it’s “mood swings”
  • He thinks “dust” is a design choice
  • She’s high maintenance — like a Ferrari on fire
  • He says, “I don’t see gender” — especially not in chores
  • I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong
  • She’s not dramatic — just accurate with volume
  • He thinks “emotional intelligence” is a Marvel character
  • Her mood swings have a fan club
  • He thinks babysitting his own kid is charity
  • Women plan the wedding. Men just show up
  • He calls himself the man of the house — so cute
  • She communicates with sighs, raised brows, and sarcasm
  • He believes emotional support is handing you a beer
  • Her “5-minute story” includes 27 emotional arcs

Short Funny Sexist Puns

Short Funny Sexist Puns
  • Men shop like ninjas — fast, clueless, and gone
  • Women can multitask. Men can barely blink and chew
  • He forgot her birthday… again
  • She said “I’m fine” — he should’ve run
  • Men and directions: still not friends
  • Women remember everything. Literally. Everything
  • He says “we” when he means “you”
  • She asked for honesty — and got ghosted
  • His idea of cooking? Ordering Uber Eats
  • She can hold a grudge like it’s designer
  • He claims to be “low maintenance” — lies
  • She’s not clingy, she’s thorough
  • He thinks a load of laundry is five shirts
  • She cried during an ad. He cried when Wi-Fi dropped
  • He says he listens — then forgets your name
  • She’s got receipts — both literal and emotional
  • He wears socks with sandals — on purpose
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Clever Sexist Puns for Instagram

  • Caution: Contains estrogen and opinions
  • Built-in GPS, also called “woman’s intuition”
  • Bearded, basic, and emotionally unavailable
  • Coffee, contour, and crushing the patriarchy
  • She believed she could — and then he explained it to her
  • Allergic to commitment and common sense
  • Running on spite and skincare
  • He’s tall, dark, and emotionally stunted
  • Just a girl, standing in front of a man, correcting him
  • Too glam to give a damn — unless it’s about dishes
  • Men: simple software with outdated hardware
  • She’s soft, but her sarcasm hits hard
  • He thought PMS was a Wi-Fi password
  • Wearing pink and tired of his nonsense
  • I like my coffee how I like my men — quiet
  • She breathes fire and organizes closets
  • He has two moods: football and confused

Best Sexist-Themed Wordplay Jokes

Best Sexist-Themed Wordplay
  • Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make sense
  • Why don’t women tell jokes at bars? Because men already think they’re hysterical
  • How do you confuse a man? Put him in a room with throw pillows
  • Why did the woman cross the road? To escape another “Hey girl”
  • What’s a man’s idea of housework? Lifting his feet when you vacuum
  • How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One — he holds it while the world revolves around him
  • What’s the male version of multitasking? Dropping his phone while chewing
  • Why did she date an electrician? He sparked her interest and fixed the Wi-Fi
  • What do you call a man who makes dinner? A legend
  • Why don’t men use bookmarks? They’re still amazed we read
  • How can you tell if a man’s lying? His lips are moving
  • What did she say to the silent treatment? “Finally”
  • What’s a woman’s favorite workout? Carrying the emotional load
  • Why do men love sports? It’s the only time emotions are acceptable
  • What’s the difference between a man and a cat? One listens when you talk
  • What do you call a guy who’s great at chores? Imaginary
  • Why are women great CEOs? Because we’ve been managing messes forever

Witty Sexist Puns for Social Media

  • His side of the closet is a crime scene
  • Her “I’m done” means three more rounds
  • He’s emotionally available — for naps
  • She walked in, fixed your life, left
  • He thinks “empathy” is a skincare brand
  • She’s got a PhD in petty
  • He loves long walks — to the fridge
  • She’s powered by caffeine and complaints
  • He said “chill” and nearly died
  • She’s the Wi-Fi to your weak signal
  • He ghosted, she glowed up
  • She’s not moody, you’re just exhausting
  • His love language? Silence
  • She burns sage — and bridges
  • He took initiative once. We still talk about it
  • She asked for help. He disappeared
  • Men love “low effort” like it’s a personality
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Clean and Family-Friendly Sexist Jokes

Clean and Family-Friendly Sexist
  • Why did dad put tape on the remote? So mom wouldn’t change the channel
  • Mom’s cooking is love. Dad’s cooking is fire insurance
  • What do dads and GPS have in common? They both say they “know a shortcut”
  • Why do moms carry big purses? To fit everyone’s problems
  • What’s dad’s idea of laundry? Buying more socks
  • Why do moms need coffee? Because kids exist
  • What’s a dad joke’s best friend? A mom’s patience
  • Why did dad go to the store for milk? We’re still waiting
  • Mom says “5 more minutes” and cleans the whole house
  • What’s dad’s favorite tool? The remote
  • Why are moms superheroes? Because naps are rare
  • Why did dad bring a ladder? To reach his expectations
  • Mom says “don’t touch that” — it’s now law
  • Why are dads bad at texting? Because thumbs are optional
  • Mom’s hugs fix anything. Even bad Wi-Fi
  • Why did dad check the car engine? Because mom said it sounded funny
  • Mom’s purse has snacks, tissues, and regret

Punny Sexist Quotes That’ll Crack You Up

  • “Behind every nagging woman is a man who didn’t listen the first time”
  • “Men are from Mars, women are from Target”
  • “A man’s home is his castle — until she redecorates”
  • “He said he’d change. I assumed outfits, not personalities”
  • “She’s high maintenance — like a classic car with sass”
  • “He’s got two speeds: ‘What?’ and ‘Huh?’”
  • “Women want equal pay and equal Wi-Fi speed”
  • “Men don’t read minds — just menus”
  • “She multitasks. He microwaves”
  • “A woman’s silence is loud enough”
  • “Men do laundry like it’s rocket science”
  • “She’s sweet and salty — like revenge fries”
  • “He’s got commitment issues with brunch plans”
  • “Women plan a wedding. Men plan to survive it”
  • “Her lipstick says queen, her eyes say tired”
  • “He tries. That’s cute”
  • “She left a to-do list. He read the title”

Sexist Puns for Tourists and Travelers

Sexist Puns for Tourists and Travelers
  • Traveling light — because he packed
  • She brought 8 outfits. He forgot pants
  • His idea of sightseeing? Hotel TV
  • She booked the trip. He brought snacks
  • He asked if Eiffel Tower was in Italy
  • Her map sense = built-in GPS
  • His passport pic is a cry for help
  • She travels for food. He travels for Wi-Fi
  • He lost the luggage. She lost patience
  • She brought chargers for everything — even his mood
  • He called the Leaning Tower “crooked”
  • She researched culture. He Googled McDonald’s
  • He said “no itinerary” — chaos followed
  • She wore heels to hike. Iconic
  • He called the Louvre “overrated”
  • She shops local. He buys fridge magnets
  • He asked if Paris had Uber

Silly & Sassy Sexist Wordplay

  • He says “you’re overreacting” — brave man
  • She likes red flags. They match her lipstick
  • He thought gaslighting was a candle brand
  • She’s sweet till provoked
  • He asked if she was on her period — rookie move
  • She told him off with emojis
  • He thinks ghosting is self-care
  • She’s 10/10 with Wi-Fi and grudges
  • He said “calm down” — she leveled up
  • She’s emotionally fluent in four languages
  • He says “drama” — she says “details”
  • She’s 80% glitter, 20% rage
  • He calls it nagging. She calls it reminding
  • She said “I’m not mad” — but reordered his priorities
  • He thinks emojis replace apologies
  • She’s the plot twist he didn’t expect
  • He left her on read. She left the country
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Iconic Sayings with a Sexist Twist

Iconic Sayings with a Sexist Twist
  • “Hell hath no fury like a woman told to relax”
  • “Speak softly and carry a designer bag”
  • “A clean house is a sign of a woman who delegates”
  • “Ask for directions, lose your masculinity”
  • “A watched man never finds the ketchup”
  • “She came, she saw, she made a list”
  • “He who forgets her birthday sleeps on the couch”
  • “When she’s quiet, he should worry”
  • “Behind every silent man is a woman texting paragraphs”
  • “Early to bed, early to rise — still can’t load the dishwasher”
  • “No pain, no PMS jokes”
  • “Home is where the chores live”
  • “Time heals all wounds — unless you said ‘calm down’”
  • “In wine there is wisdom. In men, there is delay”
  • “She believed she could — so she booked it”
  • “Better late than forgetting her coffee”
  • “Cleanliness is next to her patience running out”

Share-Worthy Sexist Puns for Every Mood

  • Feeling cute, might correct him later
  • Sassy today, sarcastic forever
  • Tired of explaining — try Google
  • Too pretty to argue, too smart not to
  • I don’t argue — I just explain why I’m right
  • Slaying sexism, one joke at a time
  • Equal rights and equal eye rolls
  • Making feminism funny since forever
  • She believed, then double-checked
  • Fluent in facts and facial expressions
  • Raising standards and eyebrows
  • That’s not attitude, it’s experience
  • Equal pay, unequal patience
  • I came, I saw, I organized
  • Don’t test me — I grade on a curve
  • Bad hair day, good clapback
  • Coffee, confidence, and not his opinion

FAQs

What are sexist jokes?

Sexist jokes play on gender stereotypes for humor. Ours are clean and light-hearted.

Are these jokes offensive?

Nope! They’re cheeky, not cruel. All in good fun and safe for most audiences.

Can I use these on Instagram?

Yes! Perfect for captions, bios, or reels with a wink and a laugh.

Are these jokes only about women?

Not at all. We poke fun at both sides — men and women are equally roasted.

Where else can I use these jokes?

Anywhere: travel blogs, parties, dating apps, or just for giggles with friends.


Conclusion

Whether you’re sipping tea, spilling it, or holding it in dramatic silence — these 200+ sexist jokes are your passport to pun-perfection.

Remember, the best kind of humor is the kind that unites us through laughter, not divides us.

Tag your bestie, share with your work wife, or surprise your boo with a zinger. Let’s keep laughing, captioning, and reminding the world that humor doesn’t have to be harmful — it just has to be hilarious.

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